A Thousand Faces
Creating fictional characters of MS
A Thousand Faces: visualizing an invisible illness
In June/July of 2022 I had my first and very intense Multiple Sclerosis flare-up. The illness impaired me in many ways but the worst thing it did, was damaging my vision. Struggling with double vision, a partial loss of control over my eye-muscles and my brain that was no longer able to process movement without lagging behind, I was no longer able to work with my camera. And even though I got hospitalized and received my diagnosis and treatment just a few days after my symptoms started, the condition of my eyes did not improve as expected so the chances of them ever going back to “normal” became increasingly slim. And that was devastating. Aside of being told that I’ll be sick for the rest of my life with no way of predicting how bad it’s going to get, I also had to accept the thought that I might never be able to photograph again. Six days after I was discharged from the hospital I picked up my old watercolor box and started painting. I may not be able to use my camera but that does not mean that I’m not able to express myself. And I needed to express myself.
My first painting was ‘Nancy’, she illustrates my flare-up and the impairment I still struggled with despite treatment. Once she was done, I realized that I needed to go ‘smaller’, be more precise and detailed in my expression. So I started painting my vision issues, my fatigue, my helplessness. I started breaking apart this so very complex illness into its separate aspects and illustrated those. Within just a few days I gathered half a dozen symptoms on paper which made it possible for me to look at my illness as if it didn’t affect me. I then gave each image a name, turning my MS illustrations into individual and autonomous characters. Through this further step of abstraction, I was finally able to distance myself from my illness which took away my fear of it. And it helped me immensely to cope with my diagnosis and to truly understand what is going on with me. So I continued painting, illustrating my symptoms and any change that I noticed in my life due to MS, creating a structured and organized ‘map’ of the chaos MS really is.
While painting I remembered my doctor telling me that “MS has a thousand faces, it will look different every day, and no two patients are the same” and suddenly my illustrations became a series, a project with a name; ‘A Thousand Faces’. This was the moment I started feeling like myself again. The moment I started feeling like an artist again.
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Why This Project Matters:
Multiple Sclerosis is often an invisible battle. People living with MS may appear 'fine' on the surface, but beneath the façade lies a world of challenges. By bringing these hidden struggles to the forefront, I aim to promote understanding, raise awareness, and spark meaningful conversations about MS.
I invite you to explore this collection, immerse yourself in the stories within each painting, and engage with the art and the message it conveys.
Stay connected with the progress of "A Thousand Faces" by following my social media channels, where I share stories, insights, and updates. Thank you for being a part of this journey.
